


Closure (Year 53)

by Squintern



Series: Sleepless Nights [3]
Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: (okay well... in this one we do apparently), (yeah remember that one), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Feels, Grief/Mourning, Mortal Andy | Andromache of Scythia, Multi, Off-screen Character Death, Relapsing, i really tried not to make it too sad, i tried to still inject some joy here, no beta we dont die
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-19 01:35:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29991900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Squintern/pseuds/Squintern
Summary: Even when I pictured it, I couldn’t properly imagine a world without her in it.---Or, three conversations about grief.
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Nile Freeman & Booker | Sebastien le Livre, Nile Freeman & Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani & Nicky | Nicolo di Genova, Nile Freeman & Quynh | Noriko
Series: Sleepless Nights [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2181561
Comments: 16
Kudos: 46





	1. Nile & Quynh

**Author's Note:**

> WELL. This is the part where I poured all my feels and when I came out the other side, I did feel more at peace with my grief. As I said in the tags, I still tried to include some moments of happiness or silliness in these chapters. It's not all just a depresso messo.

Quynh is sitting out in the garden when Nile steps out of the house. No one has mentioned leaving this place and Nile thinks they won’t for a while yet. It’s beautiful, she can see why Andy loved it so much. The bend of the hot spring at the far end of the yard sends a curl of steam into the air and it’s tempting in the cool night, but Nile finds herself moving past the overgrown flower beds toward Quynh.

“That step,” Quynh says when Nile’s close, low and warm and amused, “is all Nico’s.” It’s still strange to hear him called that, but Quynh refuses to call him Nicky and Nicky always looks pleased when he hears it. Neither Nile nor Booker has attempted it.

“Well, it’s not like I could’ve learned it from Joe,” Nile says, coming level with Quynh where she’s sitting.

“Like a rhinoceros,” Quynh says, as if it’s a secret. She smiles up at Nile, all mischief and laughter. “Sit with me, little bird.” Nile sits next to her.

Nile doesn’t really know what to say to her. She’s known Quynh less than a year. Quynh and Booker traveled together for decades before coming back to Andy in the end, and of course Nicky and Joe knew her for centuries. But Nile isn’t sure what to make of Quynh. She’s endlessly caring and patient in the way she looks out for Booker, and fondly quick-witted and sharp like an older sibling to Nicky and Joe. Where Andy was affectionate, though somewhat distant, Quynh is bright and tactile, ruffling hair and touching shoulders and kissing cheeks with a graceful ease of familiarity. Nile isn’t used to it and wonders how it will look when Quynh leads them into battle. She trusts Quynh implicitly, but this is the first time they’ve been alone together.

“Tell me what you are thinking, little bird,” Quynh says. Nile isn’t sure where the nickname came from, but she likes it.

“I’m thinking,” she says.

“About Andromache,” Quynh continues as if she hadn’t just asked Nile.

“Well, yeah,” Nile says. Quynh looks up at the stars and smiles.

“Andromache has seen us all through our beginnings, has she not?” she says. Nile nods.

“How old were you?” she asks before she can think about it. She knows Nicky and Joe had been at least a hundred years removed from the First Crusade by the time Andy and Quynh found them, and that they tracked down Booker in a much shorter time, but she doesn’t know when Quynh and Andy met.

“Ah,” Quynh says. “It is hard to remember. It was a very long time ago. But I was not young, I know that.” Nile nods. Quynh turns and looks at her.

“You are lucky,” she says, “to have been able to meet them all so soon.”

“I know,” Nile says. She is lucky. She’s lucky Andy found her in days, before she was shipped off to some lab to be put through whatever Nicky and Joe had to go through that still has them waking up screaming for each other some nights. She’s lucky that she was introduced so early to Nicky’s quiet kindness, Joe’s steadfast warmth, even Booker’s cynical wisdom. She's lucky they made her family so quickly, loved her so readily. She’s lucky to have followed Andy for as long as she did. Quynh tilts her head a little and smiles.

“And they are lucky to have you,” she says. Nile meets her eye. Quynh nods at whatever she sees in Nile’s face. “They are. I think if you were not here, this family would be fractured and scattered to the wind right now. Yusuf and Nico would have run far away and disappeared into each other. Booker would have drowned himself in misery and self-pity. I think I would simply be angry, so angry that I lost her when I had only just found her again. But you, you keep us together.”

“Because everyone wants to coddle me and make sure  _ I’m  _ okay,” Nile says. Quynh shakes her head.

“Because you are so very like Andromache,” she says. “You are lucky in many ways, but there is one way you have missed out. You did not get to know Andromache before she became so worn out.”

“What was she like?” Nile asks.

“She was like the sun,” Quynh says, then frowns. She looks up again. “No, that is not quite right. She was like… she was like the Polar Lights.” Quynh nods to herself. “Have you ever seen them?”

“No,” Nile says. “Joe and Nicky didn’t ever bring us that far north if they could help it.” Quynh laughs again.

“Of course,” she says. “I will bring you. You will see. They are beautiful, overwhelming, all-encompassing. When you stand beneath them you feel awed by the power of this universe, that it created both you and those lights, that you can even exist in the same place. That is what Andromache was like. Beautiful and awe-inspiring. But she never caused anyone to feel less than she. You did not feel dwarfed by her when you stood at her side; she may have burnt brighter, but instead of casting you into shadows, she threw her light over you and invited you into it.

“You remind me so much of her. You are full of that same light and you share it so willingly. You are our warmth, little bird. Whatever precious flame burned at the heart of Andromache, it burns in you, too. We will coax it to burn brighter and one day, perhaps, you will lead like she did. Perhaps you will be the Polar Light to a new family when they come.” Nile’s heart swells, feeling too big for her chest and cresting up into her throat. Quynh looks at her and smiles gently. She reaches out a hand and catches one of Nile’s tears on her finger.

“How do you know?” Nile asks. Quynh cradles her cheek in her hand.

“Oh, Nile,” she murmurs. “I dreamed of you, too.” Nile sniffs and her tears flow a little faster. Quynh doesn’t move her hand.

“I am glad I met Booker first,” Quynh continues after a few minutes. “In his dreams I could see my family, but they were so tinged with his own pain. It was a relief to finally stop seeing those.” Nile hiccups a bit of a laugh and Quynh smiles encouragingly. “Your dreams I savored.”

“What did you see?” Nile asks.

“I saw your love for our family,” Quynh says. “I saw how you challenged Andromache, how you kept her on her toes and sometimes surprised her when her days were becoming too monotonous. I saw you cook with Nico and teach him all your favorite foods so he could make the things you loved. I saw you sit so still for Yusuf for hours on end so he could recall his love of painting. I have never even seen Nico sit as patiently; he is never still unless his inaction is useful. Apparently, being Yusuf’s muse is not useful enough.” She breaks off to laugh. “Of the many renderings of Nico in this world, very few are paintings because he has no patience for the time it takes to perfect them.” She shakes her head a little.

“Your dreams brought me back to this world in a way nothing else could,” she says. Nile wipes at her eyes and attempts a small smile at Quynh. Quynh is radiant when she smiles back.

They fall silent for some time and Quynh returns to the stars. Nile feels more at peace than she has in a very long time. She’s seen it so much in the past few weeks, how much Quynh loves her family, but hearing the words settles something in Nile. Quynh is bare and open in her love, unabashed and loud. And, Nile realizes, she’s told her all of this to make it clear she loves Nile, too. Nile leans to the side a little until she’s resting against Quynh. Quynh reaches out and takes her hand.

“Don’t take this the wrong way,” Nile says, “but how are you so upbeat about all this? How are you staying so positive?”

“Why am I not inconsolable with grief?” Quynh asks.

“Well,” Nile says slowly, “yeah…”

“We all grieve in our own way, in our own time,” Quynh says. “Tonight, I sit here with you and remember the love of Andromache and how much I loved her, tomorrow perhaps I will wish I was still in that coffin at the bottom of the ocean because dying alone under all that sea is less painful than living in a world without her in it.” Nile’s throat tightens and she brushes away her tears again. Quynh reaches out and gathers Nile into her arms. She’s small and lithe, but her arms cage Nile in securely and she’s steady and solid where Nile sobs into her shoulder.

“I want,” Nile gasps.

“You want to feel that joy,” Quynh guesses. Nile nods. Quynh kisses her head.

“You will, little bird,” she says. “One day you will be joyful and I will be the one in tears and you may hold me together then. For now, though, I have you. You can grieve.”

And Nile does.


	2. Nile & Booker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brief CW for this chapter: Mentions of addiction and relapsing, implied OD. I don't go in depth and I don't spend a lot of time on it, but I wanted to warn anyway. I have never dealt with addiction or been through any of the programs, so if I've been disrespectful in any way please tell me and I will rework it.

Nile’s up getting a glass of water, bleary and half-asleep, when something possesses her to look out the kitchen windows. For once she’s not wandering around in the throws of insomnia. She’s not sure what woke her, but she’d dozed in and out for a bit before deciding she needed a drink. It takes her a moment to register what she’s seeing, but when she does she shakes off the rest of her tiredness. She grabs a second glass and fills that too, then pushes her way out the front door.

That Booker’s chosen the front of the house is telling. He definitely doesn’t want company. Nicky and Joe have already shown an affinity for the hot springs, and there’s much more comfortable places to sit in the back gardens. When Nile’s sleepless she often finds herself crawling into the hammock back there and ends up rocking herself to sleep. There’s been many times where Nicky wakes her with a mug of coffee and they sit quietly and watch the sunrise together. Booker has avoided all of that. Nile approaches him anyway.

“I know it’s not as exciting, but it’s the same color as vodka,” she tries to joke, holding out the glass. Her foot nudges against the empty bottle lying next to him. Booker grunts. Nile pushes the cool glass against his cheek until he relents and takes it from her hand.

“It was half empty,” he says. He doesn’t sound nearly as drunk as he probably wants to be, but definitely more slurred than she’s heard him before. His tolerance has gone down.

“16 ounces of water to 4 ounces of liquor,” Nile says. She stays standing, waiting for him to send her away. Booker only grunts again and takes a drink of the water.

“So did you only come out here to babysit me and mock my failure?” he asks bitterly. Nile frowns. She moves the vodka bottle aside and sits.

“Not at all, Book,” she says softly. “I came out to check on you because I’m worried about you. I can go.” Booker hesitates, then slowly shakes his head. Nile sips her own water.

“It’s normal to fall off the wagon,” she says after a while. Booker hangs his head.

“People always say that,” he says. “Doesn’t make me feel any less like a piece of shit.”

“Addiction is a disease,” Nile finds herself reciting. It feels like no time has passed since she heard those words.

“You sound like you’re reading off the fucking AA script,” Booker mutters.

“I am,” Nile admits. “Well, NA. But it’s a lot of the same language.” Booker turns to look at her properly.

“Were you?” he starts. Nile shakes her head.

“Friend of mine. He was fucking young,” Nile says. And then the whole story is spilling out. A story she never actually told anyone, because she’d been swore to secrecy and she never, ever broke the promise. Now, though, well… there’s no one else to remember it.

“He never told me how he got started, but he was an addict when we were still in our teens. We were both taking some classes at the community college when he hit a wall and he confided in me. I was trying to think of ways to get him to quit and I convinced him to enlist with me, but he’d have to be clean to do that. I went to a lot of the NA meetings with him, and I was his therapy partner. He really committed to it,” she tells Booker. Booker’s turned more toward her now.

“What happened?” he asks. Based on his tone, he already knows.

“He relapsed,” Nile says, “like a lot of people do.” She looks at him significantly, then continues softly, “But when your tolerance is down…” Booker reaches out tentatively and puts a hand on her arm. Neither of them have spent much time alone together since he got back. Quynh circles him a lot of the time and he seems more comfortable with her around, and Nile is just used to being around Nicky and Joe more at this point. Nile scoots close enough for their shoulders to brush.

“It’s strange,” Booker says, “remembering we all had lives before this.” He waves his free hand around then, as if he’s surprised he’s still holding it, takes a long drink of water. Nile nods. Booker continues quieter, “And that they were all so different.”

“Nicky says he was a priest,” Nile says, nodding. Booker snorts and Nile remembers a conversation from a very long time ago. A hidden joke, an untold story. She looks at Booker.

“That’s an inside joke that has gotten less and less funny over the decades,” he says, but he’s smiling a little. “Nicky and Joe are the only ones who still think it’s amusing.”

“He’s never told me,” Nile says. Booker smiles a little more.

“When he and Joe were still trying to learn each other’s language, there was a lot of miscommunication, as you can imagine. They both spoke enough lingua franca to get by, but their accents were different enough that even then it was a struggle for each to understand the other,” Booker explains. The story flows easily and Nile wonders how many times he’s heard it. “Well at some point, Joe asked Nicky why he believed in the holy war. Nicky went off on some explanation about doing God’s work and saving his fellow Christians from, well, I believe he said savages and promptly found himself with Joe’s dagger in his eye socket. But anyway, Joe pulled priest from somewhere in there and when they finally got around to the  _ intimate _ part of their companionship Nicky was properly confused about why Joe always refused to make the first move and Joe had to confess what he thought. He claims it’s the first time he made Nicky laugh, but as Nicky’s told it: he once killed Joe by slicing his Achilles tendon while he was attempting to bathe and holding his head down in a muddy stream bed until he suffocated, and he laughed uproariously when Joe awoke covered in mud and tried to lunge at him, but slipped and killed himself again by cracking his head on a nearby rock. Nicky’s story isn’t as romantic, but I definitely believe it. He’s a real bastard when he wants to be.” Booker smirks a bit and shakes his head. He glances over at Nile and huffs a little laugh.

“Yeah, hard to picture, isn’t it?” he says. “But you think about how quick they both are to anger and it makes a little more sense how often they ended up killing each other.”

“I guess I just didn’t expect it to be quite so brutal,” Nile admits, still a little shell-shocked. Quick to anger is one thing, but she can’t imagine sweet, gentle Nicky purposefully cutting someone’s Achilles tendon to incapacitate them before finishing the job.

“Apparently stabbing each other in the heart or cutting each other’s throats got boring,” Booker says dryly. He finishes his water and sets the glass aside. Nile shudders.

“It’s a better story when they tell it,” Booker says, “nicer. They leave out the part with Joe stabbing Nicky. And I had to get Nicky very drunk to tell the story about the stream.”

“So, you didn’t get the story from them,” Nile guesses.

“Andy,” Booker admits, nodding. They both fall silent, remembering suddenly why Booker is here before his 100 years is up. Nile sips her own water. She drops her head to Booker’s shoulder. He startles a little, but doesn’t move to push her away. Instead, he slowly lowers his own head to rest against hers.

“I’m glad you’re here, Book,” Nile says softly. “I’m glad Andy got to see you.” Booker sniffs a bit.

“Me too,” he says, his voice thick. They’re quiet for a long time and Nile finishes off her water. A soft breeze curls around their ankles and Nile can smell some of the mineral scent drifting from the hot springs.

“You ever think,” Booker whispers, “about what it would be like without her?” Nile blinks back tears. She hadn’t, in fact. She still hasn’t. She’s not sure she can picture it, even though it’s already happened. Andy’s already gone.

“No,” she murmurs because Booker can’t see her face right now. He moves his head away from hers and swipes a hand over his eyes.

“I used to,” he says. “All the time. Before I even shot her.” Nile lifts her head from his shoulder and looks at him.

“I used to think about never even meeting her,” Booker continues. “Like if she stayed out on the ocean searching for Quynh and never even wanted to meet me.” Nile bites her tongue against reminding him that all Andy wanted was to not be alone, that she would’ve wanted to meet him if only to have another person who understood their gift. She lets him speak, lets him get it all out. “I used to think about what this all would’ve been like if I was just following Nicky and Joe, if she hadn’t taken me under her wing and, I mean, if she hadn’t been just as fucking miserable as me. After we found out… well. I’ve walked this path many times in my mind.”

“Not quite the same, is it?” Nile asks. Booker shakes his head, blinking rapidly.

“It’s worse,” he says hoarsely. “Even when I pictured it, I couldn’t properly imagine a world without her in it.” He sniffs and wipes at his eyes again. “Everything seems a lot darker all of a sudden.” Nile puts a hand on his shoulder and Booker reaches up to grasp it tightly. With her free hand, she wipes away her own tears.

“It’s not gonna be dark forever,” she says quietly. “I don’t suppose you want to hear another version of “it gets better” right now.”

“Not really,” Booker says, choking out a humorless laugh, “but thanks.” Nile gives him a little shaky smile. She squeezes his shoulder.

“It’s true, though,” she says. “Sun’s gonna come up tomorrow, just like always. The next day, too. And the next. And one day it’s gonna feel just as warm and bright as it did before.” Booker nods a little, bobbing his head twice before letting it just hang between his shoulders. He hasn’t let go of Nile’s hand.

Booker’s shoulders shake under her palm. Her own tears sting a little, but she keeps her eyes on Booker. She didn’t check the time before she’d come out here. It’s a surprise when the sky starts to turn gray then pink then slowly washes to blue. The sun warms their backs as it peeks over the house. Nile squeezes Booker’s shoulder and he looks up at her finally. His eyes are red-rimmed but dry.

“I won’t tell,” she says softly. He smiles gratefully.

The front door opens behind them and the smell of fresh coffee drifts across the lawn. Nile stands and holds out her hand for Booker. He grabs it and levers himself up. Nile carefully nudges the vodka bottle into a patch of tall grass and makes a note to come back for it later. Nicky holds out two mugs when they reach the threshold.


	3. Nile & Nicky & Joe

For a moment when she catches sight of them, Nile considers turning around to work out her own sleeplessness inside. Maybe making some warm milk and honey in the kitchen, or doing pull ups in their makeshift gym. But, she thinks, if Joe and Nicky had wanted privacy, they probably would have just stayed in their room. They came out here expecting to be found.

“And here I thought you were inseparable before,” she says as she approaches. It’s only half teasing, because they truly have been no further than a few inches apart since the burial. Joe looks over his shoulder at her and offers a small smile.

“We can get closer,” he says, matching her tone.

“I don’t think that’s appropriate,” Nile says. The corner of Nicky’s mouth quirks up as she settles in next to them.

They’re wrapped around each other almost intricately, legs and arms tangled in a way that Nile thinks ought to be uncomfortable. Joe is leaning back against a sturdy rock with Nicky bundled into his chest. Nicky’s head is tucked up under his chin and their legs are dangling in the hot spring, an alternating of brown and white skin beneath the water. Nile drops her own feet in and scoots into their tangle of limbs when Joe extracts an arm to wrap around her shoulders.

“How you holding up, kid?” he asks. Nicky’s hand comes from somewhere to rest on her leg.

“I was going to ask you that,” Nile says. “Minus the “kid.” Am I always gonna be “kid?””

“Yes,” Nicky says promptly. “You are the baby and we are not sorry.” Nile pinches the back of his hand and gets a tiny little smile in return. She kicks her feet in the water while they all consider their answer.

“It doesn’t hurt like I expected it to,” Nile finally says. “Not that it doesn’t hurt at all… I expected it to be like losing my mother. But… well Andy had time, you know? She had eons longer than my mom and she got to do some incredible stuff. Sometimes all I can think about is how… how we have so much more time and opportunity and no one else does…” She trails off.

“Your grief is compounded by knowledge of what wasn’t possible for them,” Nicky says. Nile nods.

“Especially now that I’m kind of realizing how  _ much  _ time,” she says. “But with Andy, I’m… it’s like how at funerals we’re told to celebrate the person’s life and be glad they’re in a better place now. That always made me so confused, even angry a little bit. Because their place was with me. What could be better than being with family and friends? Even if it was paradise, like they told us. But I think I get it now. Andy was so tired of being in this place, and she loved us, but she also just wanted peace. Wherever she is, it’s better because she finally has that now. No more fighting.” Joe hums a bit in agreement. Nile covers Nicky’s hand with her own and he flips it up to thread their fingers together.

“I think I agree,” Nicky says. “I’m glad she’s found peace, I’m glad we could help her achieve that in the end.”

“But she was all the family we had for a very long time,” Joe picks up. “It’s too strange to not have her here anymore.”

“I feel like I never got to know her,” Nile says.

“I feel like you never did, either,” Joe says. “I wish you could have seen her in a fight. A real fight where we didn’t have to cover her and she could go all out. She was glorious.”

“I wish you could have seen her with Quynh,” Nicky adds. “More than what we got. More than just this ending. Seeing them together…”

“Imagine us, but more vicious,” Joe supplies.

“More inspiring,” Nicky corrects.

“You guys are pretty inspiring,” Nile says. “And vicious.” Nicky squeezes her hand.

“You have no idea, Nile,” he says. “When Andromache and Quynh were side by side, you wouldn’t need the sun. They blazed so brightly it could blind you, but you could never look away.” Nile thinks about Andy’s expression when Quynh had stepped through the door again and she almost gets what Nicky means.

“We barely needed to raise our weapons when they fought,” Joe says. “In fact, I did sit out once, mostly just to see if anyone noticed, and I sketched the battle.” Nile laughs.

“You did  _ not _ ,” she says.

“He did,” Nicky says, nodding. “The drawings are framed somewhere. It was only against a small band of raiders, nothing outrageous, Andy could’ve handled it herself. But when it was over and we looked around and saw Joe sitting there with not a speck of blood on him, Quynh fell down in laughter and Andy shouted herself hoarse about having your team’s back in a fight. And Joe just sat there grinning and when she was finished he showed her the drawings. She threatened to burn them, but we could all see her smiling.” Nile shakes her head, laughing a little again.

“Did you notice?” she asks.

“That he was not at my side? Of course.” Nicky sounds affronted that she even asked. “But upon my life, if I could spare my love even a single battle, I would.”

“And you call me the romantic,” Joe murmurs, kissing Nicky’s head. Nile kicks her feet in the water again.

“I just think you didn’t want Andy to be mad at you, too,” she says after a beat.

“That may have been part of it. Who can really say, it was so long ago,” Nicky says airily. Joe gasps.

“You purposefully left me to take all the blame? Whatever happened to sharing in all things?” he asks. Nicky smiles, wider than Nile’s seen since Andy went.

“To be fair, I think that was before our first wedding,” he says. Joe takes his arm from around Nile’s shoulders to press his wrist to his brow.

“So it is only a vow that keeps you honest? What has become of our love?” he bemoans. Nicky continues to smile, unrepentant. Nile laughs again.

“You guys have never said,” she says as Joe pulls her close again, “just how many times have you been married?”

“Legally?” Nicky asks.

“No, come on,” Nile says, “in total. I know you know the number.”

“We are married every day when we take our silent vows at the altar of each other’s love,” Joe intones.

“49,” Nicky says.

“50,” Joe retorts, dropping the theatrics.

“No, Yusuf—” Nicky starts.

“It  _ counts _ , Nicolò—” Joe cuts in.

“You shouting you love me across the deck of a ship—”

“Captains were able to legally perform marriages even back then—”

“That is not the problem and you know it! We were in the middle of—”

“—and I did ask you the night before, so you cannot complain—”

“We didn’t even exchange any vows!”

“I vowed, as I always do, to love you until the end of our days, I can’t believe it wasn’t enough for you!”

“I was on the other ship and just had a musket go off next to my ear, I couldn’t even hear you!”

“I don’t see how that’s my problem,” Joe says. Nicky scoffs so hard his throat must hurt. Nile clutches Joe’s arm so she doesn’t fall into the hot springs as she laughs.

She wipes her eyes with her free hand, hiccuping a little as she catches her breath. But like a floodgate, the tears are suddenly not from laughter, but heavy and stinging with her grief. Nicky makes a small noise and then he and Joe are unfolding and Nile somehow ends up wedged between them as they wrap around her.

Nile sobs into Joe’s shoulder, her fingers twisting against his skin. Crowded against her back, she can feel Nicky, his own breathing hitched and harsh. There are tears soaking into the collar of her shirt and Joe’s hand is swiping at his own face above her head. It hits her all at once that this is it. Andy is gone and won’t come back this time. She wants to take back everything she said earlier because this hurts so much more than she thought. Her heart is tearing gracelessly out of her chest and her lungs feel collapsed. All around her, the warmth of her family is the only thing keeping her from shattering.

It takes a while for her to calm. She drags her arm over her face, not doing much more than smearing the tears and snot. At her back, Nicky’s breathing has calmed and she slowly matches it. Joe is humming quietly, a tune Nile doesn’t recognize. His heart beats by her ear and she counts along with the pulses. Eventually, she sits up straighter and Nicky and Joe shift around her.

“Well,” she says thickly. “I’m sorry I asked.” Joe laughs a little, startled, and Nicky smiles softly.

“We’ll tell you the whole story sometime,” Nicky promises. She nods and takes a long breath.

“I’m gonna go in,” she says. “Wash my face.” She’s wrung out and exhausted and doesn’t doubt she’ll be asleep as soon as her head hits the pillow.

“Will you be okay?” Joe asks. She nods and stands, brushing off her pants.

“If not, I’ll crawl into your bed,” she says. “Just like a baby.” Nicky lets out one of his amused huffs.

“We make no guarantees we’ll be clothed,” he says, but his heart isn’t in it. Nile pushes him anyway, just enough to make it clear she’d shove him into the hot spring if she wanted to and he catches her hand to kiss the back.

“Sleep well,” Joe says as she stands. She smiles and touches his shoulder as she turns back up to the house.

She’s barely steps away before they’re back in each other’s arms, winding together like they never parted. Her shirt dries as she walks and she doesn’t doubt that she ended up with at least some of Joe’s tears in her hair. She supposes it’s penance for getting snot all over his bare chest. She changes and washes her face when she gets back to her room. When she glances out her window again, Joe and Nicky have gone inside, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well thank you all, as always, for coming on this little journey with me! These were super fun to write and I'm glad you all like them, too!!


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